#2 THE ONE ABOUT FEELING TIRED.
You know that feeling of fatigue that just doesn't seem to go away, no matter how hard you wish it away? Like you will have your 8 hours of sleep but still wake up tired? You will make sure you're not taking on too much, but still, nothing. Well, I know how frustrating that can be, especially because I have been experiencing this never ending fatigue since the year started.
And it's scary, because who wants to be tired in the beginning of the year when you have all these expectations and goals to get to? It's even more scary when the fatigue gets in the way of your zeal for life and your work and the things you love. So much so that the things that used to bring you joy and excitement just don't do it for you anymore.
I have been learning about this the hard way. Why? Because I realised that I lacked boundaries with myself in terms of respecting my limitations. I can't be everything to everyone and nothing to myself. And that's so crazy for a therapist to say because we preach self love to our clients so much. And let me tell you, I used to think I loved myself so much because of all the work I've done on myself, but somehow along the way, I forgot to address my toxic habits towards myself that quickly led me to burnout.
What am I talking about? What toxic traits?
I realized this about myself last year. I have this toxic habit of knowing what I need to do to get myself to feel better, but will procrastinate implementing those things. I will even envision myself looking and feeling better, but still do nothing, or the bare minimum to get myself there, until I become totally fed up with myself.
Okay, let me not make it seem like I have no grace toward myself because in truth, when you're already feeling so tired, thinking about implementing something and the energy that that takes, no matter how healthy those habits are, can be very daunting.
So at some point, I decided to give up and just let myself be. However tired I was feeling because of the lack of boundaries I had with myself, I decided to just accept my situation, let myself be tired, and just free fall into how I feel until I can gather the energy to do better. And I kid you not, it worked.
Before I could even have the energy to implement all these healthy habits, I had to accept how tired I was, and actually allow myself to rest without the fear of what I would be missing out on. And once I did that, I was able to gain clarity on how I was going to move forward. And moving forward looked like taking things a step at a time, and making small changes until I am completely on the other side.
So I share this to encourage you, if you're feeling tired and overwhelmed, please know that it's okay to take a step back even though you already feel like you're moving slowly because of how exhausted you feel.
love, Mumbi.
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